Tom Lehrer

Be Prepared

Be prepared, that's the Boy Scout's marching song
Be prepared, as through life you march along
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell

Be prepared to hide that pack of cigarettes
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure that they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around
For he only will insist that it be shared
Be prepared

Be prepared, that's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed
Be prepared, and be clean in word and deed
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice
Unless you get a good percentage of her price

Be prepared, and be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared,
Be prepared

Dorothy Fields / Jimmy McHugh

I must have that man

I need my mummy
I ain't got a friend
My heart is broken
It won't ever mend
I ain't much carin'
Just where it will end
I must have that man

I'm like an oven
That's cryin' for heat
He treats me awful
Each time that we meet
It's just unlawful
How that boy can cheat
But I must have that man

He's hot as Hades
A lady's not safe in his arms
When she's kissed
And I'm afraid when he's cooled off
Maybe I'm ruled off his list
I'll never be missed

I need that person much worse'n just bad
I'm half alive and it's drivin' me mad
He's only human if he's to be had
I must have that man

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